Riding The Tailgate.

Hey everyone! it’s been a few months since my last blog update, figured I would give y’all a little update on how everything is going and what changes have happened. Before I jump into that I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for their support on my blog and with sharing journey.

Life has been kinda crazy and full of unexpected twists and turns, ups and downs the last two months. If I could describe it in a sensation or feeling it would go like this..

“your sitting on the tailgate of a truck, the truck starts driving, it keeps speeding up and at some point your going so fast that everything around you seems so overwhelming and so chaotic that the only thing you want to do is jump.”

Whenever I feel like I’ve lost control of everything around me, I start making poor choices that don’t help my mental health. I talk a lot about mental health and depression on my blog but I also want to talk about anxiety. Not as a negative thing but more as a key to unlocking and solving the puzzle I like to call my brain.

Anxiety is the main triggering emotion that can lead to a breakdown. I don’t necessarily have control over my main trigger being my main trigger, but I do have control over what triggers my anxiety. The amount of caffeine I consume if and on a daily basis is the main one, the other is the surrounding/environmental factors. For example large group settings or get-togethers, grocery stores, malls, even driving. These are some surrounding/environmental factors that can trigger my anxiety depending on the circumstances.

Some days I am absolutely fine in a large group setting and other days I steer 100 miles away from people. Knowing my “escape routes” as I like to call them, is the only way I can equip myself and be proactive about my anxiety.

I love my community of friends, family, co-workers and even strangers. I wouldn’t change anything in my life right now knowing that through my struggles and challenges, God is re-shaping and refining me into a better disciple and listener than before.

Going back to the very descriptive image on how I felt like I was on the tailgate of a truck for the last two months, the truck has slowed down. It is now cruising on cruise control and I feel relaxed enough to lay out a blanket and just look up at the stars and see all the beauty around me. When life gets too fast, remembering how to slow down is the most important thing.

Thank you guys again for all your support and stay tuned for my next blog post within the next month or so. If you haven’t already please subscribe and enter your email so that you can be notified with updates on my blog!

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