In this blog I will be talking more about both mental health and my most recent update on my journey. I hope that those of you who read my blog on a regular basis enjoy this post and stay tuned for more in the future.

I have noticed in the recents months that my anxiety has both gotten better and worse. Depending on the scenario and who I am surrounding myself with it becomes less noticeable. For example when I am at work, or church I feel at peace and I feel the sense of structure and involvement and purpose however when I have too much free time and breaks during the week I loose my self in my thoughts and it starts ti tank e negative toll on my mood and anxiety.

Ever since my car accident I have struggled with the thought of LIFE, which seems vague but when I have a couple hours of nothing, and my mind starts to wonder it can become a concern. I have also really struggle with anxiety when driving, more so about other people driving.

I have since then been working 7 days a week 3-5 hours a day if not more, and it has been the best decision ever. I get to use the swimming pool, the exercise equipment and I have found that on days I may struggle with mood, I will go for a swim and it resets my mood, and prepares me for a great day at work. I am also working on my Real Estate class hours to obtain my Real Estate license and I plan on being a transaction coordinator on the side of my YMCA job.

Im also starting to get involve in Newlife Youth as a leader, and I currently work at the YMCA as a late nite staff on Fridays and Saturday nights. I work with both middle schoolers and high schoolers as a mentor and someone they can come too whenever they need a person to talk to.

Ie feel like I have found my purpose and my calling, which is too work with young kids and teenagers to help achieve their goals, and to shape them into people loving, positive and talented individuals who will soon lead the way in their schools and or community. I feel empowered when get to be apart of this in anyway, shape or form and I hope that others do as well.

WELP…. That is it for this blog and I hope you were able to follow along with my ADD brain and if you liked it hit the follow button in the bottom right-hand corner of your screen and stay tuned for my next blog coming soon. Thank you!

The last couple weeks have been so busy, but super rewarding at the same time. Watching people go back to school, and the weather slowly turning from sunny and hot to chilly and cozy. I love the fall time, from the pumpkin spice everything to reading a nice book by the wood stove fire.

My goal for this upcoming fall season is to dig deeper roots in my faith and wellbeing, and start investing into others in the community and helping them through their journey. I am also going to be starting a morning devotional small group series soon and will definitely post more information about that as it comes.

It is so easy to get caught up in the fall festivities and then the holiday time and It may make it seem stressful, or exhausting but I want to challenge everyone to just take step back and say something you are grateful for every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep. It has been proven that this increases you happiness by a lot.

well this was a short blog, and again if you want more info about the small group devotional stay tuned!!

This is something I am currently going through right now, choosing to filter out the doubt and negative self-talk, and instead absorbing the positivity and self-care. When life throws obstacles at us wether its a positive or negative one we must choose to either fight through it or simply run away from it and allow it to become something it once wasn’t.

¹⁵ What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.”

Genesis 28:15

This is currently one of my favorite pieces of scripture right now, it truly explains how humble, and promising God truly is to us.

This blog is definitely more personal and harder to start/finish writing for some reason. I have been feeling more stress lately and wondering If I am truly following Gods plan and purpose for me. However I know deep down inside that as long as I am willing to listen and sacrifice my time and energy all to Him, then I am truly in the right path. I have also been struggling lately with the idea that I will have a “late” start to my after high school education, I was then reminded by a friend that “there is no such thing as a late start, Gods timing is always on time and never late” this was what I needed to hear and I spent the next couple of week soaking this phrase up as much as I can.

I have also been feeling more slow, and unmotivated lately which is a route I do not intend to keep going down. Instead of choosing to sleep in (more like sleep all day) I will force myself to get up and go somewhere like Poulsbo or Silverdale and dink around until I find something to fill my time with in a positive way. Last weekend I went to Poulsbo and painted a honeycomb mug and I felt so relaxed and in-tune with myself again.

Finding time to just breathe in and out is extremely recommended by me.

wether you have to take a sick day from work, or stay home from school one day just find time to focus on yourself and only yourself. This may sound selfish but its okay to take a day off from society, as long as you can return the next day feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

Again if you enjoy reading my blog, subscribe/follow it! also I will not be writing on a weekly basis anymore as its to much of a promise for me to keep.

Enjoy your weekend and have a safe Labor Day!

Today I will be talking about the importance of being able to openly discuss mental health anywhere in society wether its at your work, church, and school. I will also be discussing some statistics on why people don’t seek out counseling for a variety of reasons and how we as a community are able to change this.

Right now is such a crucial time period for mental health and to become an advocate for it because, suicide has hit its peak. Wether you are a teenager or an adult that is trying to navigate the mental health world, it becomes nearly discouraging and even more stressful than ever before. There was a study done that showed almost (50 percent) couldn’t afford the cost of counseling due to insurance not covering it, and almost (30 percent) thought they could handle their mental health without intervention.

There was another study done that showed that (97 percent) of the respondents considered access to mental health services “important”, but only (70 percent) felt that they had adequate access to mental health care. It was also discovered that only (30 percent) of respondents were concerned about other people finding out if they sought mental health treatment, and (20 percent) said that the stigma is “a very important reason not to seek help” from a mental health professional.

After reading the studies done on society I was saddened, however I knew this was an accurate depiction on the mental health world today. My experience with the mental health world has been both good and bad. I know the stigma surrounding mental health needs to change, and is slowly changing for the better. However in order for mental health to be completely acceptable in society, we need to join together as a community and make it known that “it is okay not to be okay”, but its what we do with the feelings and emotions that make a difference.

Knowing the difference between real emotions and un-real emotions. What I mean by this is that when we become tired, uninterested in our usual daily activities, and more emotional we need to look at the big picture and determine,

1. Why am I feeling like this?
2. Do I need to do some breathing exercises?
3. Who do I feel comfortable talking to about how I am feeling and perhaps ask what changes have they seen in me?

Once we do this we can determine if the feelings were generated by a physical thing that has happened or if our mind is inputting negative thoughts in our head, throwing us off. It is also so so so important to designate someone wether its a family member, friend, or pastor as someone you feel can 100 percent be trusted and be truthful with you about whatever you may be struggling with.

In the Bible it consistently talks about how we need community and we were not intended to do life alone. God specifically asked Peter several times to make it know and to love and create community.

I am extremely passionate and feel God calling me to continue on my path to get my psychology degree, and become a mental health counselor. However my goal is not to just be any mental health counselor, my goal is to be Affordable, Accessible, and Accepting.

Thank you so much for reading todays blog and if you enjoy and or feel inspired to be part of the change feel free to message me and I would love to meet up for coffee and chat sometime.

References –

Emamzadeh, Arash (2018, October 18). 15 Reasons Why People With Depression Don’t Get Treatment. Psychologytoday.com

Chamberlin, J. (2004, July/August). More Americans Are Seeking Mental Health Treatment. apa.org

Sometimes I feel like I get lost in the moment, especially listening to a really good song. The song that seems to do this every single time is called “Living Hope” by Phil Wickham.

“Hallelujah, praise the One who set me free

Hallelujah, death has lost its grip on me

You have broken every chain

There’s salvation in Your name

Jesus Christ, my living hope”

Phil Wickham

This is my favorite verse right now, “Jesus Christ my living hope”. Through Him we can accomplish anything he places in front of us, including discipling. Discipling can seem very scary and uncomfortable, but as I mentioned in my previous blog, the Lord asked Peter “Peter do you love me?” three times which shows how much God wanted Peter to go out and share the word with everybody, and not withhold it from anyone, and also care for those who need it most by giving and sacrificing, and lastly by making sure Peter created a community that includes everyone.

Today I feel like we get stuck in a routine and we forget the little things and we need to just take a deep breath and spend time in Gods presence, wether its at church on Sundays eliminating all distractions or in your bedroom or my personal favorite, the shower. Use this designated time and talk to him and “catch up” with Him, Pray and worship until you feel tears rolling down your face, Pray until you feel at peace. Gods Heart is sooooooooo big that our problems, challenges and or emotions are like a little raindrop to Him.

If you want an idea on how small I am talking about, lay down outside wether surrounded by trees or on the beach or even in a hammock, and just look up. Look at the big open sky and take a deep breathe and let it out!!!

² The Lord builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the outcasts of Israel. ³  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.⁴ He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names.  ⁵ Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.

Psalm 147:2-5

My hope is that you will find peace and serenity today and that whenever you feel troubled, or stressed/overwhelmed by life that you will turn to the Lord and he will lift up your burdens once again as he has done before. I hope those of you who have been reading every one of my blogs have enjoyed it thoroughly and will continue to read my future blogs.

Wow, It has been quite a couple of weeks. I’ve been very busy with kids camp and finding a new job and completely forgot about updating my blog.

Todays topic is mainly going to be focused on learning how to find joy and happiness in everything that I do, it has been something that I’ve struggled with on occasion and tend to find myself thinking either negatively about myself or others. Negativity spreads faster than positivity and thats not a good thing. I feel like on occasion I can call myself a pessimist rather than and optimist. However this can and will change!

“When you love what you have. You have everything you need”

Anonymous

There was a study done on the happiest people on earth and it was determined that the Finland had the most quality lifestyles. Their healthy food intake and the ethos of clean living ties in with nature and being close to it. They live a life of simplicity and nothing less.

As I was thinking about what it takes to live a life simplistically and what that entails, I was originally like dang, I am going to have to get rid of a lot of clothing and miscellaneous stuff to be considered living simplistically. The I remembered my quote and it saying that if you love and appreciate what you have and don’t take it for granted then you have everything in the world.

I then applied that to Faith, and how you can truly have nothing to offer or sacrifice yet God still loves you and will ask for you to show Him the love you have in return. God is Love, Love Is God: without God how do we truly know and experience fulfillment?

¹⁵ After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.”

“Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him.

¹⁶ Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

“Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.”

“Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said.

¹⁷ A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.

John 21:15-17

This passage is showing how God is reinstating Peter, and is also asking him to share his words, and to love ALL people, as well as asking Peter to take care and love His community as a whole and not as a single.

I hope those of you who have read this blog perhaps learned something new or maybe it was a reminder to love and appreciate all things God has given you.

Hey everybody, Life has thrown me many different obstacles this past week, however I am confident that God has a plan for me, and so I have tuned my ears to him and am ready for what comes next.

“Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out wether or not you would obey his commands.”

Deuteronomy 8:2

The week started out amazing, I was going to be starting at the coffee shop at zephyr point and I could tell I was growing both spiritually and as a person. Tuesday night was a night of reflection and we were given a paper that had a list of several questions regarding surrendering everything to God. I did not feel like God was Putting on my heart to answer those questions but instead he gave me a different topic, Forgiveness and understanding!

At the moment I didn’t understand why, but instead chose to listen and continue with my self-reflection. I felt like at the end of my time that I mostly worshipped and prayed and I felt like God had put on my heart that He was preparing me for something I could yet to understand. Wednesday was extremely emotional for me as this was the next day and I still felt like God was calling me to forgive but I didn’t know who or what to forgive so I just prayed about it in hopes he would disclose to me what he meant, which is exactly what he did the next day.

I was praying and reading my Bible and in walks my parents. I knew I was about to find out some information wether I wanted to or not. After sitting down and having a semi emotional conversation with them, they disclosed that I would be leaving my mission trip early.

Some would look at this at a negative or very concerning but I looked at this as a growing opportunity both spiritually and as a person. After sitting down and having a meeting with some people I knew God had plans to use me back home, I knew that He always knows, and has a specific timeline for me and that this was my time to move on to the next thing he had planned.

I am so grateful for the opportunity God has given me, to not only grow in my relationship with Him but also grow as a person as well. I am also so grateful for the relationships I have made with the wonderful ladies above and they have played an instrumental role in allowing me to be vulnerable and myself, I cannot wait to see each and everyone of them in the future. I am also super grateful for the continuous support that has been given to me by family and friends as I navigate this new world of adulthood, and I know I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for my mom and dad.

I hope y’all enjoyed this blog, as this will be my last one regarding Lake Tahoe, however more will come as I am helping Host Kids camp on stage with my youth pastor and I will also be going to Summer camp 2019 for high school.

see ya next time!!

WOW…what an amazing and crazy first week it has been here in Lake Tahoe.

Let me start off by saying I am so glad that I am here, from day 1 to now I can already see such a positive growth in me both spiritually and mentally.

I had arrived on Saturday June 15th, and was thrown into everything since I arrived late. I met some amazing people including someone with the name Ellie and whats even crazier is that both our moms are named karri…I know crazy. I also met my two cabin/bunk mates for the summer, and we share a triple bunk and a single bathroom. I have the bottom bunk, however our cabin has a million baby spiders sooooooo…yeah

Sunday came around and I got to go out and outreach on the beaches on Tahoe, it was such aa unique and powerful experience and I am so glad that I get to do that every Sunday afternoon. I then went looking for a new job instead of the ice cream shop, because it was deemed to high stress and too much for me to handle. However I found an amazing job at Zephyr Point Presbyterian Conference Center, and we rotate every week between kitchen staff, and maintenance. I work Tuesday through Saturday and I get free meals while working there. Picture below is at Zephyr Point!

Towards the end of my first week of work/camp I started getting really tired and not feeling 100%, I got sick Friday at work and got sent home early and then tried sleeping it off. Saturday morning I could hardly get up without feeling super dizzy and almost passing out, I was taken to the emergency room and was super dehydrated and got 2-whole liters of fluids and some anti-nausea. I then slept the rest of the day and drank lots of gatorade and water. Sunday I woke up and felt like I could run a marathon but was told no, LOL. Instead I chilled out while everyone went to church and kept hydrated and then got the semi-okay to go outreaching Sunday afternoon.

I am so glad that I had the opportunity to go sharing Sunday because I met this young girl who reminded me of well…ME! She was sitting alone and looked unapproachable, however God was calling me to approach her and so I did. She had heard about Christianity and had family who believed and followed but she felt that she had sinned to much to be able to call herself a Christian, and boy was I glad to be the one to approach her, I explained what knowing God Personally really looks like and means and she asked questions and at the end she said I think I want to be a christian. So instead of walking away from the conversation being able to check something off, I got her number and messaged her about meeting up again and talking more about the Gospel.

This week has been indescribable and I am so glad I came here. I have also decided that God is calling me to university of Idaho starting in January and I cannot wait for that to be my next step. Being able to spend a summer away from my home town has not only expanded my mind but has also brought a lot of peace to my mind and I feel ready to conquer the world.

If you guys enjoyed this blog, please subscribe and stay tuned for more!

Thank you for all the support!

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 149:14 NIV

Monday June 10th, 2019

Hello, if you haven’t figured out yet my name is Ellie. I am getting ready to graduate Friday, June 14th 2019 and then I’m off to South Lake Tahoe. However, tonight the topic is going to be mental health.

The reason I feel like my first blog should be about mental health is because it needs to be discussed and because I experience it in my everyday life. You will get to know me better as we go, however, I’m going to tell you ahead of time this blog is going to be very raw.

My mental health journey began when I was a Freshman in high school, I thought something was wrong with me and I knew that the way I reacted to certain things emotionally and physically were more intense than anyone else. When I would experience sadness I would experience it 10x more, and anger 10x more, happiness 10x more, etc. It got to the point where I couldn’t go through day of school without some sort of mental breakdown. I started to feel helpless and depressed which in turn led to feeling suicidal (I know depressing). Anyways I ended up getting treated for it and was doing so much better.

About a year ago I noticed my emotions starting to lower a bit, and then I had a couple life changing things happen to me, and then became super anxious and before I knew it I became super depressed again. Two-weeks ago I attempted suicide but immediately regretted it. I knew I needed help both for my attempt and for my mental health so checked myself in and requested services. I was then transferred to ST. Josephs medical center and stayed there as a voluntary patient for help for a week. Best decision ever.

I hear people say that they don’t want to go to the hospital, or they don’t want to tell anyone how they feel because they would or already feel like a disappointment, and thats exactly how I felt. However, if I never spoke up about what I had done I don’t think I’d be here today. Depression is a mental illness, it does not mean we are limited or we have something wrong with us, it just means that some of ours brains don’t produce enough dophamine or serotonin levels.

The whole purpose of this blog is to say your not alone. I felt alone, but I now know that the people we pass in our everyday lives, wether its at the coffee shop, or school, or work all struggle with something and we shouldn’t place judgment on them because we never know what their going through.

1 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. 2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. 3 Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!

Psalm 46:1-3 NLT

With God by my side I know I can conquer my battles, I can fear no evil, and I will always know that I’m surrounded by disciples of god that I can go to when facing a time of hurt, questions, and brokenness.

Thank you for taking time to read this long first blog, I hope you enjoyed it and would love feedback!

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton