John 10:10

Im sure many of you have found yourself in seasons whether young or old, but especially in your young adult years. Some questions are lighthearted, being that you already know the answer in your heart. Others carrying much more weight and involves a season of searching, and investigating new wisdom that may or may not be the answer to your questions at heart. Sometimes these season can be scary because you may be questioning the very thing you believe in, and if for some reason you find a reason to change your belief. That changes everything; from your identity, your lifestyle choices, your friends/community, etc.

I recently found myself in this season. I am partially still in the midst of it; However I am receiving little bits of clarity each day from the lord. I began to question my faith, which led to questioning leadership, then leading to questioning the church, and finally questioning God. I dug myself into such a deep hole trying to satisfy this unknowingness, while I was surrounded by what was known.

I witnessed miracles. I witnessed healings that are unexplainable. I witnessed freedom. I witnessed joy.

Yet somehow there was still this voice inside my head telling me that it wasn’t biblical. And it was when I chose to listen to that voice was when things became blurred, confused, questionable and I became angry, hurt, doubtful; but not because of those around me. but God.

You see its when I left the church and began to search Biblically and prayerfully that I began to realize that its actually true.

” the thief purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. My purpose is to give you a rich and satisfying life.”

John 10:10

The first church service I walked into after beginning my journey questioning everything was a church I had been a part of in the past for 10 plus years. They had recently started a Thursday night service and so I decided to go. When I showed up the pastor spoke on John 10:10 and I laughed because he was also wearing a shirt with a house on the front and scripture on the back. You see if we rewind a couple weeks prior I was on a vacation in McCall, Idaho and there was this christian boutique. I had reluctantly gone in and looked around. It was then that I saw this leather-bound journal and on the front of it was “when you are fully known and loved you have a home” and on the back of it was a house engraved.

Even though I fully heard and knew what the Lord was trying to tell me I chose to ignore it and go to a different church. this time I went to the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints (A.K.A The Mormon Church).

I guess the point of this blog/piece is too just share that while its okay to have season of question. It is not okay to spiral down in and allow the enemy to steal your community, kill your purpose, and to destroy your hope. I am dealing and cleaning up the fallout currently from this past season; gaining trust back, re-developing relationships, and forgiving myself.