Fighting Doubts

Hello Everyone, its been about a month since my last update and the Holiday season is in full swing and it feels like it could snow. In this Update I have decided to talk about stress habits that I have discovered and my current mental health update!

This picture accurately describes how I feel when someone tells me its almost my day off. I love my job and the people I work with but this girl really needs a day to herself, and I mean to HERSELF! I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t take the time to love and nature myself with self-care and spend time with God. Sure it sounds selfish to want to spend all day doing the things only I want to do, but guess what….we ALL need that one day to ourselves wether we want to admit to it or not. The only difference is we each spend the day differently, some take a bubble bath (*me), some do errands and chores, and others hang out with their friends. As long as we remember to take care of our selves then we will be able to take on any great mission God gives us.

This week I found a journal that I had when I was in the hospital, and it had notes from some classes I had to attend while I was in-patient, and one of them was on how to notice when your more stressed out than “NORMAL”. Some of you are probably thinking well Ellie theres no such thing as normal stress, well you would be right except having some stress in our lives is healthy but too much stress isn’t. When little to moderate stress on a daily basis I tend to chew on ice and eat chocolate, when I am experiencing moderate to high stress in my daily life I tend to eat less, and chew on my fingernails (even when I don’t have any left to chew), and I chew ice more than one should.

Lately with the weather getting colder and the days getting shorter, I have been struggling to grow in my relationship with God, more than usual. This can be very discouraging for me at times but I try to remember the lyrics to one of my favorite songs called “Way maker”

” Even when I don’t see it, your working

Even when I don’t feel it, your working

You never stop, you never stop working

You never stop, you never stop working”

This part speaks so much truth over me whenever I am starting to doubt and lets me know that He will always be working through me wether I see it or not. This song reminds me of a sermon I once heard about God working through me to plant seeds in peoples lives and we hardly will ever see those seeds turn into something beautiful but when the times comes and the seeds grow in to something bigger the moment becomes everlastingly rewarding and changes your perspective on doubt.

As I close out this blog I just want to say thank you for those who have been following me on my journey through my mental health and also just life in general, and also thank you for those who have just started on this journey with me and I hope you stay for the long run!

I hope you all had an amazing thanksgiving and I hope you all have an amazing Christmas and holiday season and happy new year!!