Mental Health

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 149:14 NIV

Monday June 10th, 2019

Hello, if you haven’t figured out yet my name is Ellie. I am getting ready to graduate Friday, June 14th 2019 and then I’m off to South Lake Tahoe. However, tonight the topic is going to be mental health.

The reason I feel like my first blog should be about mental health is because it needs to be discussed and because I experience it in my everyday life. You will get to know me better as we go, however, I’m going to tell you ahead of time this blog is going to be very raw.

My mental health journey began when I was a Freshman in high school, I thought something was wrong with me and I knew that the way I reacted to certain things emotionally and physically were more intense than anyone else. When I would experience sadness I would experience it 10x more, and anger 10x more, happiness 10x more, etc. It got to the point where I couldn’t go through day of school without some sort of mental breakdown. I started to feel helpless and depressed which in turn led to feeling suicidal (I know depressing). Anyways I ended up getting treated for it and was doing so much better.

About a year ago I noticed my emotions starting to lower a bit, and then I had a couple life changing things happen to me, and then became super anxious and before I knew it I became super depressed again. Two-weeks ago I attempted suicide but immediately regretted it. I knew I needed help both for my attempt and for my mental health so checked myself in and requested services. I was then transferred to ST. Josephs medical center and stayed there as a voluntary patient for help for a week. Best decision ever.

I hear people say that they don’t want to go to the hospital, or they don’t want to tell anyone how they feel because they would or already feel like a disappointment, and thats exactly how I felt. However, if I never spoke up about what I had done I don’t think I’d be here today. Depression is a mental illness, it does not mean we are limited or we have something wrong with us, it just means that some of ours brains don’t produce enough dophamine or serotonin levels.

The whole purpose of this blog is to say your not alone. I felt alone, but I now know that the people we pass in our everyday lives, wether its at the coffee shop, or school, or work all struggle with something and we shouldn’t place judgment on them because we never know what their going through.

1 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. 2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. 3 Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!

Psalm 46:1-3 NLT

With God by my side I know I can conquer my battles, I can fear no evil, and I will always know that I’m surrounded by disciples of god that I can go to when facing a time of hurt, questions, and brokenness.

Thank you for taking time to read this long first blog, I hope you enjoyed it and would love feedback!